The Wedding Guide: Leicestershire and Warwickshire...Opening the door to your dreams...
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| Preparing for your marriage |
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It takes only seconds to say words that have implications for the rest of our lives - none more so than our wedding vows. Like most couples, you'll come to your wedding with hope for the future - a really happy life together. But, are you ready? Couples have high expectations of marriage, without a clear view of how they can be met. So when things start to go wrong (and, despite all romantic novels, these things do happen!), how will you cope? We can learn from the great majority of marriages which endure and give ourselves a greater chance of a happy future together. If you are serious about wanting to 'grow together' (and that's a lifelong task!) then start now, while you're engaged. Of course it's important to plan your wedding carefully. But it is also vital to prepare for your life together - 'til death us do part'
Enjoy the following exercises - they're fun. Then ask yourselves, 'Are we really prepared for our marriage?' If not, what are you going to do about it? Organised courses (probably the bets method) are available throughout the country and there are also helpful books and self-help programmes. All of these will show you how your love for each other can be helped to grow into a life-long relationship called marriage.
To accept children lovingly Working on your own, answer the questions and then discuss them with your partner. try to be very open and specific. Concentrate on the questions that matter most to both of you. 1. What do you think is the ideal number of children for you?
2. How many children will you be able to afford?
3. Have you discussed how you will bring up your children?
4. What sort of discipline should you have?
5. Do you see children as:
6. What are your feelings when you think of yourself as a parent? 7. Have you discussed when the best times to have children are? {mospagebreak}
Living Love Romance helps us begin to be less self-centred. Romance is very important, and we should keep it alive and fresh in our lives, no matter how long we are married. But we must also recognise that when romance and tender feelings are absent, we can still decide to love. Find a quiet time alone and answer each of the following questions. Then come together to share what you have written. As you answer the questions direct to your fiancé(e), noone else is to see them. 1. Name four ways in which you intend to keep romance alive in the first 5 years of your marriage. 2. Name a recent instance when your partner made the decision to love you. 3. How do you think he or she felt at the time? 4. Name a recent instance when you have made the decision to love your partner. 5. Name some ways you can make the decision to love your partner when:
6. How do you or your partner's friendships and family relationships help you to love each other more?
Top 10 Rules for Fair Fighting When you need to settle an issue between you, try to follow some rules. The following are some suggestions: 1. Say what you want positively and directly 2. Avoid sarcasm and exaggeration 3. Avoid words like 'always' and 'never' - they are usually exaggerations. 4. Avoid 'oughts' and 'shoulds' - they are usually someone else's standards. 5. keep to the main issue - try not to deal with more than one issue at a time. 6. be specific. Your partner can't agree with you if they don't know what you want. 7. Listen when your partner is speaking. It is the only way to understand them. 8. Avoid interrupting - however wrong you think they are. Just keep listening. 9. When its finished, make sure it really is finished. let go of any dissatisfaction or resentment as soon as you can. After a fight, there is always a need to build up what you had before. Only you can find the way to do this.
Patterns of Communication No two people are alike. It is the differences we each bring to a marriage which enrich and enliven it. During our courting days differences lend attraction and we communicate freely. This communication leads to understanding and understanding leads to trust. No relationship is possible without communication. When a couple communicate at a very personal level then their relationship continues to grow. Answer these questions on your own then discuss your answers with your partner. I Think I Communicate Well Because...
A Quiz for Couples
Answer the questions working on your own. Then compare notes with your partner. 1. On your birthday, which best describes your partners attitude?
2. When things go wrong, which is your partner most likely to do?
3. Which word best describes you?
4. Which of you will -
Time for Each Other
Working out how we spend our time together leads to surprising results. It can sometimes help us to sit down and rethink our priorities. During last week - or a recent week - how did you spend the 168 hours? Make your best estimate for each item listed. 1. Meals and sleeping, including getting ready for bed 2. Housework, preparing meals and cleaning up 3. Going to friends or having friends over 4. Work, training or studying, including travel time 5. Making time to talk to each other 6. Reading, television or social activities outside the house Now, discuss these questions with your partner - a) How much of your activity for you enjoy and how much do you do for other reasons. b) How much time do you spend with other people - enough, too much, far too much? c) Which are the times you are at your best? d) Would you want to spend this 'quality time' in another way? e) How will being married make a difference to your attitude to your work? f) Or your attitude to your leisure? g) What are your feelings about your partners work and prospects?
Your Marriage, Your Vision
So much is said about marriage, yet so few - even married couples - have a clear idea of how really special marriage is. How high is your vision of marriage? Your marriage is not just a private thing for you and any children you may have. It is for everyone - a visible sign of your love. Today's world is starved of love. It has a great need for married people to provide this sign of true love. How can you love someone for life? Love is not a feeling, if it were, it would be very variable. Married love is a decision and a commitment which has to be continually renewed, sometimes in the face of extreme difficulty. It is possible to continue to love each other even during a quarrel, if you have the courage and the maturity. What do you want in your marriage? What is your vision of marriage? � |
